To Make Mamma Happy
by xXxMusicSavedMyLifeXxX
Summary: Fluffy RoChu coming atcha! A frustrated Yao goes to take a relaxing bath after exploding in the Walmart parking lot. Ivan and his nine adopted sons then frantically prepare a wonderful surprise all to Mamma happy. Meant to be funny, cute, and with a hint of light yaoi. Might make a story of how they ended up adopting nine children so keep an eye out for that!


"I can't take you five _anywhere!"_ Yao hissed, glancing at the four children and grown man in the back seats. "Next time I need to go to Walmart, I'm leaving all of you at home!" He gritted his teeth as he put the van in reverse. He didn't a minivan, no he drove a _van_. He backed out of the parking space. "I'll take the twins and triplets next time.

"Mom, can I have my Mountain Dew?"

"Mom, can I have my Jalapeño Puffs?"

"Yaaaaoooo, but why do I have to sit in the back?"

Yao slammed on breaks, throwing everyone forward and unbuckled his seatbealt. He hadn't even gotten out of the Walmart parking lot before he snapped. He opened his door and went to the next door, slinging it open. "Time out! All of you! Get in the back! I don't want to hear another word come out either one of your mouths! _Míngbáile ma?_ " No answer. "_Míngbáile ma_?" he repeated.

"Shì," came the collective response.

One by one, each one of them filed out the van, only to get back in on the next row and having to climb over it before they were in the 'time out' area of the van. Even Ivan obeyed. Yao closed the doors before he got back in the driver's seat. He buckled his seatbealt and took a calming breath. He turned on some Chinese music that soon morphed into Russian, and then to American music. It was CD that had been given to his ever growing family last year from Alfred. He was thankful for it, since he and Ivan adopted children from all three races. There was no more fighting over what to listen to anymore. The drive back home was silent, which pleased Yao. He sighed as he put the van in park next to his and Ivan's Mustang. He looked back at the five in the back seat. He climbed out of the driver's seat all the way to the back, sitting on top of the next to last row of seats, leaning down so he wouldn't hit his head.

"Listen, aru," he said gently, but firmly. "Act your age. Yes even you, Ivan—Don't give me that look, I'll knock those eyes out the back of your head," he scolded one of his boys. "You are teenagers and a full grown man. It's time you start acting like it." He looked over at Ivan. "That means no more throwing balls across the isles." He looked at the four boys. "That means no more joining your father when he wants to throw balls across the isles. Help Mamma out. Go get the groceries and bring them in the house."

The five of them nodded and got out, but he stopped Ivan. "You stay put for the moment being." He watched as they silently opened the trunk and grabbed as many things as they could carry before heading to the house. He looked back at Ivan. "Watch what you say around them. I'm not stupid. I know you're hinting about our sex life. Hint at it one more time and next time you want to get kinky, I'm tying you to the bed and shoving that pipe up your ass, aru. Míngbáile ma?"

"Da."

Yao smiled. "Good." He pecked his lips lightly. "Now, go help get the groceries in. Mamma needs to relax."

Ivan nodded and got out to help the kids with the groceries. Yao was surround by their other five children, all of them speaking their different native languages at the same time.

"English, English! Mamma can't understand Russian and Mandarin at the same time. It gets him confused. What is it?" Yao asked.

"Viktor managed to do his back flip while you were gone!"

"Is that so, Dmitry?"

Dmitry nodded. "Da! It was really cool! He even struck a pose!"

Yao smiled and rubbed Dmitry's blonde hair. "Come, show me this amazing back flip and pose, Viktor." Yao examined the room, before eyeing the brunette Russian boy.

Viktor took a deep breath before he did a few practice jumps. Yao waited patiently for the teenager to land the flip he spent years trying to do. If he landed it he would be more than happy if he managed to land it without breaking anything this time. He was still paying medical bills from the last several times he broke something. When Viktor closed his eyes and let muscles instinct lead him, Yao stood on edge as he did his back flip and strike that stupid Spider Man pose. He paused for a minute before continuing on to a few of his Kung Fu moves he'd been practicing. Yao was very much impressed.

"You are improving so much, Viktor. Wǒ hěn zìháo." He smiled at him. "Show you're father when he helps the other's get the groceries in and put up. I'm going to go take a bath."

The five that had surrounded him hugged him. Yao walked up to stair to the master bedroom, letting his hair down as he sighed.

(/-_-)/

Ivan gathered his children in the living room. "We need to make Mamma something special?"

"Can't we just buy him something special?"

Ivan shook his head. "No, it's got to be made. What should we make."

Viktor raised his hand excitedly. Ivan rolled his eyes and called on him. "We could make origami things. Walter showed me how to make origami dragons!"

"Good, good. Origami it is! There's an arts and crafts store not too far away from Walmart. In the van, everyone!"

It Ivan a few minutes to find where Yao had put the keys (they were still in Yao's pants pocket). He isolated them so they wouldn't disturb Yao from his bath. He pressed his ear to the door to make sure he wasn't getting out anytime soon. When he was positive his beloved wasn't getting out, he hustled down stairs and herded all nine of his kids into the van. It took all of about five minutes to get everyone situated. The American half of their family were arguing about who gets shotgun.

"The four of you are going to take a shotgun up the ass if you don't sit down and shut up, da!"

The boys settled down and they were off. Ivan sighed as the American boys began fighting. He gripped the steering wheel tighter and he could actually feel grooves from where Yao would nearly break the wheel. He never realized how much stress Yao went through when he drove. He turn music on, relaxing a bit as he listened to the slow, smooth Chinese song that came on, but he could barely hear it over the fighting in the back. When he stopped at the red light in town, he turned around to glare at the boys, each of them settling back down after a few seconds of looking in his eyes. The light turned green and he turned back around and pressed the gas, the van lurching forward a bit. Ivan had managed to catch the Arts and crafts store an hour before it closed. Everyone unloaded the van, the teenagers bolting towards the store. Ivan locked the doors.

"Slow down!" None of them listened. Ivan frowned. "Стой! Halt!" Ivan sauntered after them before waving them into the store. "We're on a forty dollar budget, da! Origami paper is the number one priority. Ponyat' ?"

"Understood!"

"John, you find origami paper. Jason, you find yarn. Everybody else, find stuff to make stuff to make Mamma's night." He waved his nine boys off and stood by the cash register.

"How did you managed to have all boys?" the cashier asked, leaning casually towards him.

"Adopted all nine of them."

"Can't have kids?"

"I've a really stressed husband."

The cashier shrugged. "Nine kids do that."

"It's not just that. I'm really just an overgrown child, and it irks him sometimes."

A loud shriek sounded from the back and the boys ran to the front with fabric, needles and thread, stuffing, origami paper, yarn, tape, cardstock, color pencils and markers, sticks, and a hot glue gun.

"Pодитель," Dmitry said. "I've added everything up, with tax, and all this rounds up to be thirty even. Maybe with a few coins."

Ivan nodded. He ignored the cashier's look of pure amazement that Dmitry could guess so confidently. He scanned everything, punching some numbers into the cash register. "That'll be Thirty and two cents." Ivan handed him two twenties. "No need to break that extra ten for two pennies. Here's your ten, I've got two pennies in my pocket. Thanks for shopping."

"Da," the Russian said as he grabbed the bag of materials.

They talked excitedly about what they were going to make Yao, and Ivan smiled. It was better hearing this than the arguing. "I will distract Yao-Yao while you make what you're going to make, then John, you come and knock and leave once you're done. Got it?"

"Got it."

It wasn't long until they were home. Ivan cracked the back door, peaking to make sure the Chinese man wasn't in sight. He motioned for the teenagers to slip inside with the bag in hand. Ivan made his way upstairs. He pressed his ear against the door. He could hear water running and soft humming. He checked his watch; Yao had been in there for a while. He knocked on the door before entering it. He closed the door behind him, leaning against it as he took in the sight. Yao stood naked, dripping wet. He was in the process of wrapping his hair into a bun when he looked up.

"You know, when I say I need to relax, I like to do it alone. You know this process, aru," he said as he stuck a few bobby pins in his hair.

"D-da, da. I know, but-uh…" Ivan bit his lip. Christ, how was he to distract Yao if _he_ was distracted by _him_. "I want to make it up." He watched as Yao slipped into the water, sighing softly. "Can I get in with you?" he asked in a small voice.

Yao shrugged. "I don't see why not," he said, turning off the water.

Ivan smiled and began the process of stripping down. Yao slipped into the tub with a sigh. Ivan kicked off his pants and boxers, shoving his clothes in the corner with the rest of their dirty clothes. Hn, he was going to have to wash clothes soon. He eased in behind Yao, yelping at how hot the water was. He'd forgotten Yao liked sitting in burning hot water. He wrapped his large arms around the smaller man. Yao sighed softly and leaned his head on the faucet. Ivan kissed his back, nuzzling the well-muscled area. His hands slid up to his shoulders, rubbing them. Yao shuddered a bit.

"Nn…You know what happens when you give massages, aru," Yao muttered.

"Da, but you _need_ one. You're extremely tense, Yao-Yao."

The Chinese man couldn't argue with the Russian. Against his better judgment, he let Ivan massage him down until he was completely stress free. He leaned back into the larger man and tilted his head back. "God, I love your hands! They certainly work magic, aru!" Ivan chuckled and kissed him softly, holding him close to his body.

There was knocking on the bathroom door, and John's voice was heard. "Dad! We need you're heeeeeeeeelllllllp!" Yao leaned forward to allow the Russian to get up. Ivan got out, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his waist. "I'll be back, da?"

Yao nodded and waved him off, leaning back into the hot water. Ivan shivered when he opened the door, feeling the cool air hitting his wet lower half. He was still dripping as he went downstairs and what a sight _that _was. No, what a _mess_ that was. Bits of paper were everywhere! Glue spilled and glue from the hot glue gun had hardened halfway dripping off the coffee table. Pieces of tape were stuck to the floor.

"Oh, boy. Da, we definitely need to get cleaned up before Mamma comes down—how do you get glue on your _faces_?" Ivan sighed. "To the kitchen with you all. Line up by the sink." He picked at some glue hanging off the coffee table before heading to the kitchen. He turned the hot water on and grabbed a dish towel and soap. When the water was hot he squirted soap on the towel and began the process of scrubbing glue off their faces.

"Dad—er—your towel is coming off…" John said as his face was scrubbed until it was red, but all the glue was off.

"Man up and deal with it."

John wrinkled his nose and rubbed his face as he walked back to the living room to start cleaning up. That's how it went. Ivan scrubbed one teenager's face clean, he'd go help clean up, but there was a collective gasp when Ivan's towel finally fell. He'd tell them all to man up and continue on with the process until they were all clean and started cleaning up the living room. He picked up his towel and wrapped it around himself tighter this time. He helped hang up the origami dragons. Strips of cardstock in the colors of the rainbow were used to make a curtain like thing…Ivan really had no clue what it was, but he hung it above the last step. Little water bombs and roses were hung from the ceiling, and envelopes with notes inside were taped to the wall. It took a total of twenty minutes to get everything cleaned and put up. Ivan went back upstairs, meeting a still very much wet Yao halfway up. He'd let his hair down and it looked like he'd taken another shower, or dipped his head under the water in the tub.

"Yao-Yao! You're just in time for your surprise!...Er…You're even more wet than I was!"

"I heard complaining about your towel falling off, and decided to come see what was the problem."

"Twenty minutes later?" Ivan asked doubtfully.

Yao shrugged. "So what's this surprise?"  
Ivan motioned for Yao to follow him and he quickly disappeared down the stairs. Yao raised his eyebrow but followed him at a much slower pace. He gasped when he saw the rainbow strips of paper hanging from the ceiling above the last stair. What was this? He hesitantly went through the strips. Usually when something like this was put up, there was an extremely large mess the ten were trying to hide from Yao. But a mess was not what he was walking into. The living room was spotless, save for a few pieces of ripped paper on the floor. He looked up in awe. Japanese water bombs and paper roses hung low from the ceiling. Envelopes taped to the walls.

"What is all this?" he asked with a smile..

"Surprise," Ivan said sheepishly. "This was my idea, to you know, make you happy. What was _made_ had nothing to do with me though. What was made was all them. And I think Michael has something for you."

One of the Chinese triplets stepped forward, his hands behind his back. He held out large heart pillow he'd made with 'We love you. Never forget that' in Chinese characters. He smiled as Yao took it with a smile. He sat down on the coffee table.

"This most certainly makes me happy, aru! Thank you." He looked around. "I think these decorations should stay up. They're really nice. And I think you all deserve some ice cream. Help yourself! Except you, love. You deserve something much more…special…for coming up with this." Yao quirked his eyebrow suggestively. Ivan's entire face turned red with embarrassment. Yao jerked his head towards the stairs, grabbing the Russian's hand.

"_**MEANTAL IMAGE, MENTAL IMAGE, MENTAL IMAGE!"**_ John exclaimed in pure horror. Everyone laughed as Yao dragged Ivan upstairs.

While the nine children enjoyed their ice cream with the television plugged into the stereo blasting today's hits in America, Ivan enjoyed sexy time with Yao, and everyone was happy. You know, until the cops showed up about some loud music. The cops ultimately left when one had turned down the music and loud shouts in Chinese and Russian were hear, all children laughing and repeating what was being said until the police ultimately realized what was going on upstairs and dismissed the complaint, turning the music back up.


End file.
